So, taking tips from draco, I have decided to have some thoughts down. I should be happy. But there is something that's not real. I don't know what it is. But now that I have started piano classes and also gone and bought a beautiful upright, I am more at peace with myself. I am happy I am able to do this with my time. It really makes me feel happy. Hope I practice, practice and practice and learn to play "Mazurka in F Minor". Really. So, thats it, then.