Home

Everything
Is catching up with me
I awake
To find i'm not at all where I
Should be
And it feels
I'm getting to the end
And it's hard
To figure out what's real
And what's
Pretend

To break from what
We're tied to
God knows
How much i've tried to

And I am still inside you
And I am still inside you

I escape
Every now and then
And to think
I find myself
Back here again
And again

I used to know who I was
Untill you came along
I return
To the only place
I've ever felt
That I belong

To break from what
We're tied to
God knows
How much i've tried to

And I am still inside you
And I am still inside you

----

"Home" by Mr. Reznor. So sharp, this man's razor. Uff!

Parallel Storm / Generator

Cannonball 33 / World threatening closure / Route towards the void / Frontier open to ... / Another blister opens / Home to homophobe / Phantasmagoria in three / Dreamless bonfire / Explosion's enemy / The big big money machine / God's lips / Gathering a storm / On the road to utopia / A friendly ghost / Frightening host / Closer / Brush away heaven / Pale / But closer...

A Reminder

Its toppling. My coffee's hot. Its an idea. It wont stay hot forever. The cups cold. The sun is in a bag. The circle meets the square. A line is formed. The kettle whistle blows. The cat sits in the corner. And listens carefully. It stretches out its paws. The smoke in the sky forms a shape. The little white doves sits on my windowsill. The door is open. The kid comes in. All three connect. Yesterdays. Awaiting a thousand tomorrows. Slowly. But surely. All three connect.

I waited all day.
you waited all day.
But you left before sunset..
and I just wanted to tell you
the moment was beautiful.
Just wanted to dance to bad music
drive bad cars..
watch bad tv..
should have stayed for the sunset...
if not for me.

----

God gave me Vitalogy.

Questioning Mark

So, Mr. Crim Eng Siam Cat (http://criminalenglish.blogspot.com) interviewed me.

1. When did you first realise that boys weren't the same as girls, and how?
When I grew my hair and moustache. :)

2. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
Pale green. I am pear-shaped afterall.

3. Would you sell your soul for complete control?
No one wants it. But yeah, if Kylie would want it I dont mind selling it to her in exchange for full control of her. :) Then she will buy me a brand new Tourist Trophy 2005. God.

4. Which drug saved your life?
The everlasting gaze of Mr. X-Genome.

5. Sonic Youth or Smashing Pumpkins? Explain.
I was into the sound of 'em smashing youth from seattle. But yeah, after Sonic Nurse its purely Sonic Youth. "I love you Golden Blue". Jp will support me on this, whilst I beat him relentlessly with a fishbat.

So, from now on its me and my Tourist Trophy. Blow up the outside world. You got it, no?

Frogs

At 7 am on a Tuesday, usual August ...
Next week I'll be 28...
I'm still young, it'll be me...
Off the wall I scrape... you...
I can't wake, I gotta wake...
To cause this wake, I gotta wake no more...
It causes wake, to drown this hate....
To never really stay, never will.....
You take your plate...
Put me through hell, live, live...
Direct your fate...
You say I can do it so well...
Your expiration date...
Fate, date, expiration date...
(this was the last time)
Hate...
And don't fuck with me again...
My own clean slate...
Don't fuck with me again...
Makes your eyes dilate...
Makes you shake...
Irate...

----

Woke up to "Frogs". RIP Layne Staley. Got all teary-eyed. This one's a gem.

Clueless?

Stress Claypool came to my house yesterday. He walked straight to the corner of my room and strapped on his guitar. He accidently put his hand in a tray. The tray was full of anastacia. He couldnt cope with the "volatile" land that surrounded him. So, he sat in a corner, unplugged his guitar and drank some soda.

Any idea what I am talking about?

I had a disastrous haircut. :( How much is a nice cheap wig to wear on weekends?

Pancake

I believe in defending what we once stood for It seems in vogue to be a closet misogynist homophobe A change of course in Our direction A dash of truth spread thinly Like a flag On a popstar On a Benzodiazapene.
-----
Somebody help me. I think I am head over heels in love.

do you think you ARE your mind or is your mind just a part of you?

Chapter 3

flow down penchant proper. free my glasscage cowboy. smile like blue-winged babies. the revolutionary army is here. // sink the nylon tamperer. break the color-coded melancholy. Mice the multi-rats. For there cometh a new future, a new sound and a new revival.

Ny Batteri

heftur með gaddavír í kjaftinum sem blæðir mig
læstur er lokaður inn í búri
dýr nakinn ber á mig
og bankar upp á frelsari
ótaminn setur í ný batterí
og hleður á ný
og hleður á ný
og hleður á ný
og hleður á ný
við tætum tryllt af stað
út í óvissuna þar
til að við rústum öllu og reisum aftur
aftur á ný
aftur á ný
aftur á ný
aftur á bak þar sem við ríðum
aftur með gaddavír
sem rífur upp gamalt gróið sár
er orðinn ryðguð sál
rafmagnið búið
mig langar að skera
og rista sjálfan mig á hol
en þori það ekki
frekar slekk ég á mér
aleinn á ný

A Tendency

i'm walking into circles but I'm thinking squares. i'm feeding parrots but i'm thinking elephants. I'm opening doors but I'm thinking walls. I'm fighting battles but I'm thinking doves. I'm growing red roses but I'm thinking grass. I'm building environments but I'm thinking numbers. I'm walking into squares but I am thinking lines.

i'm a dog without a collar on, you're a girl in this vicinity.

Gold Dust

sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year

i was here
i was here

whipping past
the reflecting pool
me and you
skipping school

and we make it up
as we go along
we make it up as we
go along

you said -
you raced from langley -
pulling me underneath
a cherry blossom
canopy
-do i have-
of course i have,
beneath my raincoat,
i have your photographs.
and the sun on your
face
i'm freezing that frame

and somewhere alfie cries
and says "enjoy his every smile
you can see in the dark
through the eyes of laura mars"
how did it go so fast
you'll say
as we are looking
back
and then we'll
understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands

sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year

i was here
i was here

gaslights
glow in the street
(flickering past)
twilight held us
in her palm
as we walked along

and we make it up
as we go along
we make it up as we go along

letting names
hang in the
air
what color hair
(auburn crimson)
autumn knowingly
stared
and the day that
she came
i'm freezing that
frame
i'm freezing that frame

and somewhere alfie
smiles
and says "enjoy her
every cry
you can see in the
dark
through the eyes
of laura mars"

how did it go so
fast
you'll say as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands

in our
hands

----

tori is in my mind always. she says such beautiful things. "and the sun on your
face, i'm freezing that frame"...oh, so beautiful. wonder who she is saying this to. if you havent heard this song, go get it (its from "scarletts walk"). it will make you cry, if you are the emotional type. it always manages to do that to me.

Gridlock'd

the dot hits the grid. the "a" sits pretty over the "m". the colour is red. the line runs straight through the page. full bleed. there is a lot of white space. there is a hint of burgundy. beige looks on from its little ivory tower. the brackets are clear. but small. its all open. the hand slowly rises. it is meta-mechanical and it never tires. now, image is everything.

Final Fix

Slow down the slow kiss. Contradict the passion. Reinstate the thursday. Become my december. Untangle the retribution. Break the silence. Free the frontier. Body the thinskin. Control the slow kiss. Emerge from within and catch the tightrope.